I feel like I need to add something to yesterday’s post. You my friends have been so sweet today with the messages and comments about me going back to work. This is not a full time gig. Just a temporary thing a few days a week. My goal is to be able to fully provide for my family via blog design. But with Christmas around the corner and the potential of Luke flying all over for grad school interviews, I knew I needed to do something so we could save up for that. Let’s face it, money is tight around here but I know many people have it a lot worse. I don’t want to always talk about money. But I do want to look back 5-10 years down the road and be able to remember our times as a family, including the times we struggled. I wrote that post yesterday while I was a little bummed because I laid L down for bed and then realized I wouldn’t see him all day the next day. I took advantage of the fact that I am so blessed to see L 24/7. There are two times in his life that I have been gone/out of his site. Both happen to be blog retreat/conferences. 4 days at the longest. Other than that, he truly is my sidekick. When I laid him down the other night I was exhausted and worried about having time to myself. I rushed the process of putting him down for bed. I was looking forward to answering emails and getting a blog post up. I was needing to finish laundry and pick up toys.
As soon as I sat down at my computer, my heart sank to my gut. At that moment I realized what I had done. I had became that mother I always promised myself to try hard not to be. At that very moment, in my eyes I had failed.
Lesson learned, give him an extra squeeze every night…
taken after L’s swim lessons.